Saturday, September 17, 2011

151 Proof

How you swim with the Jack Daniels
surprises me
I cant believe your still living this life
You have survived
Not sure how you have not drowned
You are barley here anyways right
Stuck in your vortex alcohol nights
The results of drowning in Hennessy
Bite marks of last nights love affairs
Strange women undergarments lay in distant corners
Your dried up kids on motel sheets
Stumble in at late hours
With the scent of betrayal on your clothes
And the taste of lust on your lips
You have betrayed again
Fighting over and over again
Complaining she brings you down
Ironically you make  her face and the ground always meet
You have made us move to a nice spot on the corner of ROCK BOTTOM
I guess the commute to hell was just easier from there for you
Them Heinikens are the muscle to your bones
The anecdote that fuses you into a monster
To you there is no other answer
You sip, sip and chug ,chug
No end to when you stop
Im so young already wondering when will this life end?!
While you live it up carelessly
Regret consumes your mind
So you write an  apology letter
An apology letter with no moral
There is none just a thesis: “How drunk will I get this evening”
A paper stained with Johnny  walker Black Label
Smudged words you tired to read aloud in slurred language
Drunk” im sorries “followed by “ I just cant stop”
Break down into alcoholic tears
Your right you couldn’t stop
You continued to chase liquor stores instead of a happy home
And still you say your not having the time of your life
The time without your family
The time of your life has gone away
Your time is up
Your kids grown up to other dads
Your 151 proof of everything I don’t strive to be
10% sperm donor
20% wife beater
30% dead beat
40% cheater
51% alcoholic
The time of your life you being the best at your worst
Your 151 proof dad
Child hood days should have been with you
Not me reaching out through cold metal jail bars to feel your touch
Lullabies and nursery rhymes replaced by moms cries .yelling and police sirens
I should have been enjoying your piggy back rides
Not in the back of a dirty dusty police car going to visit you
You will always be part of me 151 %
I hope you have the time of your life

By Lina Gonzalez