Tuesday, July 12, 2011


I'm going through hell with a smile on my face brighter then heaven
The negatives try to keep me down
A negative plus a negative equals  a positive
Never been good at math
 I just hope all this shyt just starts to add up
Everyone is looking for there 15 mins
But Im just fine with my 23 years
Not looking for fame not looking for fortune
Just looking for peace
Cranking up the volume on this music
I cant stand to hear my self think
But these voices are loud
 I raise up every waking morning
No time for complications
 I shove them in a corner in the back of my head
“I'm fine”
I am public enemy number one
I'm looking to hunt you down because I can't stand you
But who I'm looking for is me , you see
The worst critique in the world
Miss self destruct
Miss raise up
Miss positivity, smile so bright
Miss Super woman always saving everybody
Who's going to save me?
I paint pictures of light
for everybody
leading them to paths of recuperation
Feeling like is me and against the world
always at odds
I'm never even
Me against the stress
But I'm running with the feeling of the weekend
High and drunk
Because I am too weak for sobriety , but strong enough for this alcohol tolerance
I run and I run and I find myself falling
 And Im lost like Alice in  wonderland
Falling into the never ending hole
What do you when your at battle with yourself?
Your mind running away from you
Because it is sick of you
Survive with open wounds
Who knew healing would be painful
I thought it was supposed to get better
My body grows older
But mind remains stuck in the past
Wounds that break lose every so often
Wish it would stay shut forever
Verbalizing lies
wearing big smiles as disguise
I'm getting sick of this mask
On my face
Its all a lie
Every joke
Every laugh
is a fake
I'm tired of hiding  
Exhausted of being this actor
This character has me confused
I don’t know who I am anymore
Pass along all the medication
To cure me from this sickness
Feed me doses of hard core reality               
No one survives, you just live

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