So Lucky

I remember you used to tell me

"Any man would be lucky to have you"

I used to wonder if it was a generic way of you being just a friend to me

Or if you felt lucky just to have me

I could see right through you that

You wondered about being that lucky man

There was something about your words

And the way you would speak staring into the distance

As if it meant the world to you that I sat there and listened

I listened with my ear and remember with my heart

Although I cant remember every word

I remember exactly how it made you feel

The closeness of late night conversations and revelations

Reading along the lines I threaded

We said so much but didn’t really say anything at all

We did so much but didn’t really do much of anything

Suppressed into this never-ending circle of “friendship”

Feeling lucky that I had the man of my dreams as my best friend

Lucky to be in your presence

Lucky just to have you

I knew all about you

You knew all about me

You dipped into my sea

And only got deeper and deeper

But you still found a way to come back for air

Because the kind of I love I offered left you breathless

But still we didn’t know much of anything

I just knew you swayed where ever my rivers flowed

But you never took the time to take to swim ahead of me

You just wanted to stand still forever

Standing still just wasn’t in my agenda

I just wanted you to grow wit me

Over flooded with feelings

Caring too much

Then forced to act like I just didn’t care

Feeling like a robot

But I was only human

Only so much I can let grow in my heart

With out wondering what now?

Lucky??????????

All unspoken

But I read between the lines

That this would never be

No matter how many “I love yous’ came from your mouth

I needed more then just the words

I need stability and actions

Taking a leap of faith on love

One that you weren’t willing to take

I just trusted you enough to let you in

So you came in

And in the end you just couldn’t stand to be that lucky man

In the process of helping me pick up the pieces of a heart shattered

I must have cut you too

The same way you cut me

Lucky strike I have realized I was giving my love to the wrong guy

Once again

Generic being

Blending in with the rest of the zombies

Failing short of themselves

Only to fall into comfort zones

But if you really knew me

You would know I never get too comfortable

Because at the end of the day

Everyone is replaceable

And having somebody is not a necessity

It was more of a luxury

If you couldn’t quite figure out what love meant to you

Then you would never see how worthy I really am

Seeing eye to eye became irrelevant

And I was just trying to stay in relevance

That I gave it to you on a silver platter

But you just simply won't let your self love me

So I’m the one who got away

And that’s fine with me

Lucky me

To realize your confusion was a blessing in disguise

By Lina Gonzalez